10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Was A Parent

1. They Aren’t Out To Manipulate You

This means your baby doesn’t cry his/her little eyes out because they are just trying to get attention or manipulate you in some way. They are either hungry, sleepy, uncomfortable (wet nappy/diaper, hot/cold) or bored. Figure which one it is and they stop. Even if you have just changed their diaper 2 minutes ago, check again, I have been caught out before. Go through each one and you will get it.

2. Talk Your Child Through Everything

Even if they can’t speak yet or you don’t think they even understand a word you are saying, just say it anyway. You will find things go a lot easier. I have found this even works when I am putting down a completely asleep toddler, but need to change him first. If I say everything I do before I do it, he stays asleep and even wriggles around to make it easier for me.

3. Don’t Bother About The Perfect Looking House

May be when they are 10 years or older, you could keep a reasonably tidy house, but before then prepare for food everywhere, toys and dirt. Don’t bother resisting it, go with the flow. They are a few things you can do though. Eat outside as often as possible. Use toy rotation in your toy room, and a big chest to store all the toys. Keep your reflooring and expensive furniture until afterwards.

4. Covers

If you have any furniture you would like to keep, buy a cover for it, same with the car and all the tables. Covers save items. Make sure you have a few for rotation so it doesn’t get dirty when you are washing one set.

5. Spend As Much Time With Them As Possible

As much as you probably hear it, the years pass quickly. And I am not talking about spending as much time with them on the weekend or as possible. I mean, if you are working drop one day a week, or more, at the end of your life would you rather have more in your bank account or more memories and a great relationship with your children? You can’t buy them it later and you make more of a difference in the world by being a great parent than having a lot of stuff and money. (just a note, I’m not saying stuff and money is bad, I certainly like it, you just need to determine priorities. If you can fit both in then I say go for it.)

6. Child’s Health

Your child’s health is most likely one of your top priorities. Your child will most likely catch and show symptoms of many illnesses throughout their childhood. But remember billions of children have all been there before. Every little snuffle doesn’t need a panic attack. It’s worse with your first child as everything is new. Make sure you have your health care professionals number or health line number (if your country has one) handy and a quick ring can easily put your mind at ease. I know you might sometimes want to wrap them in cotton wool, but little bodies are amazing resilient and can handle almost anything thrown at them. Viruses / Bacteria are a natural part of life and amazingly enough, catching for example the measles actually primes their immune system. Childhood illnesses actually help them live healthier lives and strengthens their immune system.

7. Cheap Is Better

As they all say, get a child an amazing toy and watch them play with the cardboard box. I have found that the best toys are simple ones in which you play with them. Paper airplanes, cardboard boxes, toilet roll, park, nature walk or a ball are extremely fun and provide many more laughs.

8. Saying No Or Yelling Makes It Worse

I know there can be points where you get that frustrated you just want to yell back at them. Regrettably from personal experience, saying no, or yelling doesn’t do anything other than make it all worse. Go an vent your frustration in another room and then come back and think of something to do, or a way to change the situation. If you yell, prepare for more screaming and a worse situation.

Before saying no to a child, try to think of something else to do. Saying no keeps them still focused on what you are trying to get away from them. If you suggest something else or a number of other things you will eventually get them to play or do something else. It works very well, though may take just a little bit of perseverance.

9. Children Copy EVERYTHING!

Not only will they repeat words and things said at awkward moments :) , but they learn your personality traits, habits and how you handle everything. You are teaching them how they will act as an adult. If you have bad habits either don’t let your children see at the very least, but it is best to better yourself to help your child grow into the best they can be.

10. Never Be Afraid To Better Your Parenting

If I never tried to better my parenting, I would still be doing somethings that today I would feel guilty about doing. I know its hard to accept you may have done something wrong by your child, I have personally had to accept this a few times, but ignoring it just so you don’t have to feel guilty about it only means you harm your child longer. I know I am still not perfect but I am always open to new ideas and better ways to be a better parent, as I want the best for my children, regardless of how it makes me feel.

variety of kiss types

Below you will find a variety of kiss types. If you find some that catch your fancy, feel free to try them :-)

Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

Eye Kiss - Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.

Eyelid Kiss - While your partner is resting/sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.

Finger Kiss - While laying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.

Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

Freeze Kiss (or Melt Kiss) - Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss".

Fruity Kiss - Take a small piece of fruit and place between your lips (juicy fruits such as grapes, strawberries, small pieces of pineapple or mango are ideal). Kiss your partner and nibble one half of the piece of fruit while they nibble the other until it breaks in half, allowing the juice to run into your mouths.

Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

Hostage Kiss - Cover your lips with tape and get your love's attention. When they come near, make noises like you're trying to tell them something and motion as if you can't get the tape off. Once they remove the tape from you to hear what you're trying to say tell them: "I've been saving my lips all day just for you!" Then kiss your love passionately!

Hot and Cold Kiss - Lick your partner's lips so that they're warm, and then gently blow on them. The sudden cold blast makes for a sensual explosion, and they will often try it on you next, as well as get very passionate.

Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.

Lick Kiss - Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it be the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.

Lip Sucking Kiss - When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.

Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Reverse Lips Kiss - It involves standing above your lover and kissing them from over their head. This way, each kisser can take the hyper-sensitive bottom lip of thier lover in their mouths, and GENTLY draw blood to the surface of the lip by nibbling and sucking. A very sensuous, connecting kiss.

Searching The Cavern - Use the lips and tongue to gently tickle and kiss your lover's navel. Vary speeds and stroke to change sensation. Invigorating and intoxicating.

Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Teaser Kiss - Starting on the forehead, a sweet short kiss on lips, then move up the arms up to her hand, kiss her hand, then come back up her arm, to her face and then lightly kiss her lips till she wants a passionate kiss.

The Buzzing Kiss - Gently place your lips against your lover's neck , behind their ear. Now, send a shudder through their skin by gently growling and humming, vibrating your lips and cheeks as you do so. Move up and down the neck, over the bones of the face and lips. Stimulating and erotic when done correctly.

The Whipped Cream Kiss - Dip your finger into some cool whip or whipped cream of your choice. Lick it off slowly, then embrace your partner and kiss them deeply letting their tongue slip over yours for a wonderfully sweet kiss. It's very seductive and passionate.

Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

Trickle Kiss - Take a sip of a favourite drink and trickle it slowly into partner's mouth while kissing.

Tongue Sucking - A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-)

Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

Wake Up Kiss - Before your partner awakes lean over and kiss their cheek and move over giving soft kisses until you reach their lips. Definitely a more than pleasant way to wake up!

29 Ways to increase your feeling of self worth

1. Write down 7 minor goals for the week and tick one off each day as you achieve it.
2. Read a book a month. Reading a book is actually an achievement in this technology and media driven world and reading a full book is a great way to achieve a sense of accomplishment.
3. At the end of each day before falling asleep write down something you feel proud about, either on the day or in the past.
4. Tell someone else how much you appreciate them, being able to be open and honest is great for self worth.
5. Say no! Learn the skill of saying no without offending the person asking.
6. Everything you do, do to the best of your ability even if it cleaning the toilets or something equally as mundane, develop a reputation as someone who takes pride in their work.
7. Walk tall and proud. walk as if you’ve got somewhere to go and you need to be there now, never run just walk tall and quickly.
8. Dress as smart as you can for each occasion, whether it be work, meeting a friend, or going for an interview. Take pride in your appearance.
9. Do something for yourself every day.
10. Learn a new skill or take up something you’ve always wanted to and stick with it.
11. Speak up for yourself in every area of your life, this might be hard to do at first but the first time you do it will be immense and if you carry on your self esteem and feelings of self worth will soar.
12. Sing at the top of your voice, not outside but in the house and really give it loads (I love singing Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at the top of my voice, ah! such a good feeling.)
13. Forgive yourself! (You know what I mean)
14. Get rid of the people who are dragging you down (I don’t mean kill them, I mean just stop having them in your life.)
15. Work on your strengths. A lot of people focus on building up their weaknesses, instead get better at what you are good at.
16. Take a walk in the rain………..Why?………..because you have the power to decide!
17. Listen to other people and what they are saying.
18. Reward your successes. As soon as you achieve something reward yourself.
19. Never let anyone force you to break your core values.
20. Stop the gossiping!
21. Don’t read a newspaper for a week and gauge how you feel about yourself and the world around you.
22. Help other people who need it.
23. Always, Always, Always be honest with yourself and others. There is no need for lies and the energy it takes to continue a lie is unbelievable.
24. Take a chance and take a risk or two. You don’t have long to live so just get up and do it.
25. Listen to your self talk and slap the little person criticising you, I mean it, imagine there are two people one on each shoulder, the one who criticises you give them a slap or a punch in the mouth and start to pay attention to the one who is praising you.
26. Don’t be afraid to accept help from other people, it means they respect you enough to help you with something.
27. Start changing your thinking to be more optimistic about yourself, instead of ‘…I can’t do that….’ say ‘..I’ve never tried it, but I’ll give it a go…’
28. Face your fears. Nothing will send your self esteem soaring more so than facing your fears and eventually conquering them.
29. Always leave comments on a blog you like :)

find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot

find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep…
wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on.
one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
and how lucky his is to have you…
the one who turns to his friends and says,
“that’s her!”

I love this..

Commuters jammed the train. As one commuter exited, another immediately sat down next to me.
"Oh, it's you," he said. "I remember you. "
I remembered him too.
"Listen," he said, opening his laptop. "I'm not interested in discussing politics with you. We have different points of view. You're not going to convince me of anything and I'm probably not going to change your mind either."
I nodded. He was right. What's the point of having a discussion with someone when you already know the outcome? I looked out the window, content to count the rapidly passing trees.
He turned to me, "So, what did you think of your boy Obama's speech the other night?"
My boy Obama? "I thought you didn't want to discuss politics."
"I don't. I was just wondering what you thought about his speech. He went on and on -- must've been 45 minutes. "
"You want my opinion on the length of his speech?"
"Never mind." He turned his attention back to his computer screen.
"What was your opinion of the Congressman from South Carolina, Joe Wilson, yelling "You lie!" at the President." I asked him.
"It may not have been appropriate, but it was an honest display of emotion."
"So if someone assaults someone who they disagree with, the fact that it was an honest display of emotion ought to square things?" I asked. "That wouldn't fly in a courtroom. Sorry I shot those people, your honor, but it was an honest display of emotion."
"You're making a big deal out of a little outburst," he said dismissively.
"It would be more credible if Wilson and others like him showed their distaste of government sponsored health care by giving up their own government sponsored health care."
"He said he was sorry, what more do you want?" he countered.

"I'm sorry I had sex with your wife said your neighbor."
"That's offensive."
"It's offensive that an elected official behaved like a drunk in a barroom during a Presidential speech. Whether you agree with him or not, Obama is the president and there is supposed to be a respect for that office. You talk about family values and role models, what kind of message is his behavior sending?" I asked.
"This is just another example of the left trying to demonize the right."
"I admit I do have a fundamental problem with people showing up armed at town hall meetings, shouting down others who disagree then taking that same kind of disruptive behavior into a presidential speech. It stretches the boundaries of acceptable behavior. What happened to civilized debate?"
"I feel bad for Joe Wilson. He's being made an example of."
"This is the best thing that ever happened to him," I countered. "A few days ago nobody knew who he was, now everybody does. He certainly couldn't get a national reputation for his accomplishments in Congress."
"Listen, a lot of people just want their America back," He was agitated.
"Are you talking about the Navajos?"
"I'm talking about almost two and a half million people who showed up in Washington to protest health care reform and the direction of this administration." He was getting more agitated.
"Where did you come up with that number?"
"That was the official estimate, " he said.
"You lie!" I shouted. "Associated Press estimated the crowd to be tens of thousands, ABC news reported 60,000-70,000. Freedomworks, the organizer of the march estimated "hundreds of thousands" on their own website."
"These were estimates from bloggers who were there-"
"I guess you're right," I agreed. "People like me have been unreasonable about hearing the other side of the health care debate. What is the other side of the debate?"
"The current plan provided coverage for illegal immigrants until that was brought to light."
"You lie!" I shouted.
"I beg your pardon?"
I continued,"You lie about the plan covering illegal immigrants, you lie about health care reform leading to socialized medicine, you lie about care being denied to the elderly, you lie about the government eliminating Medicare, you lie about the President brainwashing our children-"
"That's unfair, untrue and rude-"he interrupted.
"In fact, the success of "Cash for Clunkers" is being combined with health care reform so sick old people can be traded in for younger, healthier ones. Your grandparents could end up being younger than you -- and you get a new car in the trade."
"Now you're being ridiculous-"
"Maybe if I say it loud enough and often enough people will believe it - it works for you."
He angrily snapped his laptop shut.
"There are legitimate questions about the costs," I said, "how it will be paid for, what services would be affected, how it will be implemented, what is included, what isn't - rational questions for a rational discussion-"
"I'm not interested in your idea of rational discussion." He got up to leave as the train screeched to a halt. "Our country is at risk of a government takeover of our health care system."
"I agree with you."
He looked back at me, puzzled. "You agree?"
"I agree that you're not interested in having a rational discussion."
He turned away, muttering, "You lie," under his breath.

What Love Means To Age 4 To 8 Year Old Children

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.
Touching words from the mouths of babes.
What does 'Love' mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does 'love' mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

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'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

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'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

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'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

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'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

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'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

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'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

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'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day'
Mary Ann - age 4

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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

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'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

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And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power?

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk.. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

’Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.....’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?

I really like you. I do.

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever

10 Business Lessons I Learned from Playing Dungeons & Dragons

Throughout my 20s and 30s, I played D&D and other fantasy role playing games at least once a week. Doing so did more than teach me the rules of combat or proper behavior in a dragon's lair. I gained several skills that truly did help me in my career.

Note that by "Dungeons & Dragons," I don't mean necessarily the very structured fantasy world made famous by Gary Gygax. I played in standard D&D and other created-worlds (such as Harn), but mainly I played in independently-created universes, at the whim of a particular dungeonmaster (DM).

I got real jobs as a result of playing D&D, one of them directly. One DM hired both my husband and me after we'd played in his universe for five months, because D&D is a great way to find out how someone solves problems and copes with stress. However, in this post I'm not talking about people-networking but rather gaming skills that map to real life. After coming up with a short list on my own, I asked the three primary DMs in my life for their suggestions. I'm grateful to Bill, Ivan, and (especially) Steve for their help. Which probably is an outgrowth of the first lesson....

1. Feed the DM. Gamers laugh as they say this (and slide the veggie tray in the DM's direction), but it's important to treat those in power with extra kindness. The DM is busy rolling dice for your battle with the monster, while simultaneously responding to a scribbled private note from another player ("My character Rumin Bard is stealing gold from the cleric's saddlebag") and preparing for an interaction at an upcoming crossroad your party hasn't reached. If you take care of the DM (or your manager), perhaps he'll be kind to you. Or to your character. (Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.) Or he'll answer silly questions sent to him by e-mail, 25 years later, because he continues to be your friend. (In feeding the DM, it helps if you can cook.)

2. One spell, used well, can be more powerful than an entire book full of spells. I first met Ivan when he showed up for a game in Steve's standard D&D world. Ivan drew up a first-level wizard character who had almost no hit-points and only one wimpy spell: cast an illusion. Whereupon Ivan's character cast an illusion of a 5th-level illusionist... and proceeded to run that powerful "5th level illusionist" through the rest of the game. Years later, Ivan played in a play-by-mail dungeon (yes, children, we did those things before e-mail) in which the DM permitted custom spells. Ivan's "swap" spell seemed Mostly Harmless: Transpose a 1" cube of anything with another 1" cube of anything. Whereupon Ivan set up a magical FedEx business (for very short messages) and a sideline of an assassin-business (swap a square inch of heart muscle with anything else; who could tell that murder was done?). This taught me to get everything possible out of the tools at my disposal. It also taught me to expand my notion of "What do I have, and what can I do with it?"

3. It's better to out-smart an orc than to fight one. Young D&D players get into the game because they want an endless repetition of "Find a monster. Kill it. Get its treasure." But your character (and career) can get hurt that way. If instead you set up a situation in which the orcs think that they were attacked by the goblins, the orcs will blow up the goblin castle in retaliation. That leaves your party to walk through afterward, picking up the spoils (and the experience points). "Let's you and him fight" is a very effective business strategy... or it's far safer for you, anyway.

4. "I'm the DM. I'm not there." D&D players often turn to the DM to ask for information about the universe. ("Is the person offering me this three-headed dog trustworthy?") The DM often doesn't know, or he isn't telling; just because he puts something in your path doesn't mean you need to trust it, accept it, fight it, or buy it. Experimentation without investigation can be very painful; learn to ask questions. Steve didn't ask a single clarifying question about the beautiful fairy-fly before he decided to catch it... and it burned a hole straight through his character's hand. Don't rely on assumptions, particularly in a world (or an office) you don't know. It's the wrong assumptions that kill you. (Particularly in computer consulting contracts.)

5. The best quests require a mixture of skills in the party. Find new friends and cultivate ancillary skills. That pesky little hobbit thief may eat you out of house and home, yet sometimes he comes in pretty handy. This is the point of all those tedious "diversity training" exercises from your HR department; perhaps the message would get across better if they talked about the apparently-weak wizard and the bard with those amazing negotiation skills.

6. Simple and internally consistent is more fun than random. My dungeonmasters assure me that, while all players are "chaotic neutral" no matter what their characters' allegiance might be, the fastest way to upset the game is to be completely erratic. (Well, next to running out of food.) I like to think that most software developers understand this point, and then I see evidence to the contrary.

7. You create your own traps. If you fall into a habit, the universe will bite you. One player had a "standard door-opening procedure" that rarely was effective, but John did the same thing every time. Another player regularly became "party leader" by bullying in the name of leadership; based on Ron's longtime behavior, the DM set up an irresistible scenario that Ron fell for... and his character barely escaped. (Ron never realized it was his own human weakness that inspired the trap.)

8. Treasure is not always what you expect it to be. Both a rock and an egg hold hidden treasures if you know how to craft or care for them. Thought and creativity tend to win out over immediate return.

9. You don't have to read all the books, but a modest description of the beast you are about to face is better than facing a daemon and trying six dozen spells before finding the right one. (If you live that long.) Do not eschew documentation. Learn from others' mistakes — or from your own. Draw a map as you go. It is easier to avoid the pitfalls and to find that hidden room the next time through.

10. When selecting a weapon or tool, bigger is not always better. Unique weapons tend to identify the heroes in the room.

How Children Cope With Failure

Kyle was a jackass.

Four months after hiring him for a pretty prestigious paid internship and that was the nicest quality I could ascribe to him, too. Kyle spent his work week fooling around, hitting on the female interns, and surfing the Internet. Assigning Kyle tasks was an exercise in futility. He was too busy playing obnoxious practical jokes on people to do even some minor filing. Kyle was always at least 20 minutes late for his shift; you could set your watch by him. And at least 3 times he had left for his lunch break and never returned. Even more ludicrous than all of this, Kyle nearly always complained because he wasn’t trusted enough to do anything ‘fun’ or ‘important’ or ‘challenging.’

From my point of view, Kyle should have been thanking God he still had his job. Furthermore, if I couldn’t trust him to close the window, how the hell was I supposed to trust him with something ‘challenging?’

Unfortunately, Kyle’s near constant bellyaching drowned out the voice of my better judgment one day. Hoping to motivate Kyle with a little bit of responsibility, I decided to put him in charge for one hour while I met an important client for lunch. Since almost everyone was out of the office for the day, his only real duties would have been answering the phones, taking messages, and avoiding setting the place on fire.

Kyle seemed pretty thrilled by the fact I trusted him to do more than put stickers on files under direct supervision of someone else, so I had high hopes that my little experiment would inspire Kyle to do a better job. In the very least, I told myself, it’s not like much could go wrong.

To make a long story short, I came back exactly one hour later to find Kyle and 6 of his college buddies in the midst of a food fight. Not only that, but every light on the phone was lit up. He hadn’t managed to take a single call.

Furious, I sent Kyle’s buddies home and called him into my office.

“You’ve been complaining for months that no one trusts you with responsibility. I put you in charge and this is how you repay me? By drenching the copy machine in Dr. Pepper?”

“Oh come on! I doubt it’s even broken! It just needs to air out!”

“Kyle,” I asked, calmly, “Are you totally useless?”

“What are you talking about? I bust my ass around here!”

“You’ve failed at every task I’ve ever given you. That’s not how I define ‘hard worker.’ That’s how I define ‘incompetence.’ And let’s be real here! I could train a monkey to do your job!”

“Are you calling me a monkey?”

I sighed and put my head in my hands. “Tell you what. Take the rest of the day off.”

“Paid?”

“Unpaid.”

“But that’s not fair!”

I couldn’t believe the gall of this guy, but I was tired of arguing with him so I merely said, “Go.”

I spent the rest of the day dealing with angry clients who felt ignored, cleaning bits of taco salad off of the blinds, and muttering to myself that I would have never entered my chosen field if I had known I would become a glorified babysitter. Just before I was about to leave for the day, the phone rang one more time. I picked it up.

It was Kyle’s Mother.

Before we go any further, I guess I should make note of the fact that Kyle came from a very wealthy family. In fact, his Grandmother, who was extremely well known in the community, had put a good word in for him which is how he got the internship in the first place. Kyle’s Mother was a typical trophy wife who had neither worked nor heard the word ‘no’ in her entire life. She also spoiled her children rotten. For his 20th birthday, she gave Kyle a new car worth more than a lot of people’s homes. It was necessary to for her to do this, Kyle had told me, since he had already wrecked the cars he had gotten for his 16th and 18th birthdays.

Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to our conversation.

“My son just got home,” she snapped as soon as I introduced myself, “and he just told me something very disturbing!”

“Oh?” I inquired.

“He told me you called him incompetent!”

“Ma’am,” I replied delicately, “He is incompetent.”

“How dare you say that! How dare you! You hurt his feelings!”

“Unfortunately Ma’am, I am in the business of running this company. I am not in the business of catering to your son’s feelings.”

“He also said you called him a monkey! A monkey! That’s slander! I could sue you! Any psychiatrist would agree that what you said caused lifelong damage to his self esteem! You can’t put a price on that!”

I was enraged. I was livid. Walking in the door and seeing a bean burrito stomped into the office carpet was small beans compared to the utter fury I felt when this woman threatened to sue me.

“If you feel like I have broken the law, feel free to take your case to a lawyer. But in the meantime, I think there has been some misunderstanding here. Harassing me with calls about your son’s work performance leads me to believe that he is still a child as opposed to a grown man. Because [Company] does not employ children, I’m afraid I’m going to have to fire him. Let him know he can pick up his final paycheck on Friday.”

“You’re firing him?” she asked incredulously.

I hung up on her. Thirty seconds later, the phone rang again. I left my office for the day without picking up.

I didn’t hear from Kyle or his Mother for over a week. I assumed this was because they were busy being laughed out of their lawyer’s office after explaining their ‘slander’ case. However, Kyle eventually did knock on the door of my office sans Mom.

“I just wanted to apologize for the substandard job I did here. I also wanted to tell you I’m sorry my Mother called and yelled at you. If you give me another chance, I swear this will never happen again.”

I didn’t even look up from my folder. “I’ve already given you plenty of chances Kyle. I’m done.”

“I know and I’m sorry. But at least let me work off the cost of a new copy machine. At least let me do that.”

Now that gave me a pause considering Kyle had the means to get the company a new top of the line copy machine without lifting a finger. I found myself relenting.

“I’ll let you work off the copy machine. But the keyword here is: work. No fooling around. Do your job.”

“Thank you! Thank you, I promise I won’t let you down!”

Kyle busted his ass working off the cost of the copy machine. Impressed, I decided to let him keep his job. Not losing an ounce of momentum, Kyle continued to do stellar work and eventually started moving up the corporate ladder. Three years later, when I had chosen early retirement he took over for me.

I guess confronting his own failures and learning from them was what was finally needed to turn him into a man.

This is why it is so troubling to hear that Grand Rapids Public Schools seems to want students to remain children perpetually. It’s bad enough when people like Kyle’s Mother turn their mini terrors loose on the world. It’s totally unconscionable when the school systems decide to help create them.

In case you didn’t read that article, the Grand Rapids School system is beginning a new program where they will avoid giving students an ‘F’ when they fail a class. Instead, they’ll get an ‘H’ and the opportunity to take the class over again. And again. And again.

Apparently, the Superintendent doesn’t want to give 14-16 year old students any ‘life failures.’ I guess it’s far better for students to experience their first failure like Kyle did: In their adult years, at the workplace, where a less kind boss would fire them and put them out on the street.

Someone please tell these people that failure is not a bad thing! It’s a learning experience. How are children supposed to learn to buckle down, work hard, and improve themselves if they’re never given the chance to fail? Sometimes it isn’t until we experience the fruits of our irresponsibility that we learn to pull our shit together.

Furthermore, since when is it the teacher’s job to protect our child’s feelings? Instilling a strong sense of self is something a parent should do. Teachers shouldn’t be worrying about the self esteems of their students. They should be making sure the little fuckers can read.

The problem is parents don’t want to be parents. They want little miniature versions of themselves they can hold and cuddle and then send off somewhere else to be raised.

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about her school age daughter who managed to pull bad grades in a couple of subjects at school. When questioned about her poor academic performance, her daughter told her the reason she wasn’t working as hard is because she vaguely felt like her new teacher wasn’t as nice as the teacher she had last year.

“Do you think I should talk to him about it during our conference?” she fretted.

“Why would you?”

“Well, what if he doesn’t like her?”

“So what if he doesn’t like her? It’s not his job to like her! It’s his job to teach her!”

“I’m just saying, perhaps she would be doing better in school if he made more of an effort to be nice.”

I groaned and put my head in my hands. “Listen, if you think he’s being abusive, definitely step in. But she’s going to have to cope with authority figures who aren’t sweet as pie to her when she’s an adult, isn’t she? So why not let her practice dealing with differing personalities now instead of demanding that everyone treat her exactly the same way only for her to end up shocked and traumatized when she finds out the rest of the world smells her shit and knows it stinks later?”

“But I know she can do so much better!”

“Then quit giving her excuses and ride her ass until she does!”

My friend took my advice and her daughter ended up significantly improving her grade point average. As far as we both can tell, her oh so important self esteem wasn’t damaged in the process. Bonus: she can read.

Parents, do your fucking jobs! You worry about self esteem and how your children cope with failure. Let teachers worry about science and fucking arithmetic.

100 Ways To Become More Conscious: How To Raise Your Consciousness

1. Connect with nature - Go for a walk in the forest, jungle, field of daisies, or wherever you feel like getting a connection with nature. It is possible to feel at deep sense of peace and oneness when you attempt to connect with nature. As you learn to connect and appreciate nature, you allow your consciousness to rise up.

2. Get your body moving - Exercise and dancing will raise your consciousness by promoting healthy brainwave patterns, healthy neurotransmitter levels, and great circulation throughout your nervous system. Help yourself rise up and break the pattern of not exercising by going for a friendly walk with one of your friends or even going to the club to dance. Both examples are: easy, fun, and empowering.

3. Simple meditation - Whether you are an advanced meditator or a beginner, the benefits are tremendous and will allow you to tap into your highest state of conscious functioning if you stick around long enough. It is an act that will definitely raise your conscious awareness and allow you to attain greater focus, discipline, and develop a deeper joyous connection to life.

4. Spending time with true friends - Find only friends that align with who you are, your beliefs, and your values - they will make you more conscious. These are your true friends, and though they can be tough to find, they should definitely be cherished. Give some of your true friends a call and make it a habit to spend more time with them.

5. Have the intention to “raise your consciousness” - If you have the intention to raise your consciousness and state of awareness, you are on the right track. Having the intention alone will make you more focused on finding ways to raise your consciousness.

6. Tell the truth - Anytime you tell the truth, you raise your level of consciousness. Why do people tell lies? To protect themselves in lower states of consciousness. People in higher states of consciousness don’t lie because they want to be true to themselves, others, and make relationships in humanity more conscious.

7. Find and live your purpose - Searching for a purpose will help you find your true purpose here on Earth. When you find your purpose and are able to share it with the rest of the world, you will continue to raise your level of consciousness.

8. Take conscious control of your decisions - When you take conscious control of all your decisions, you are actually activating certain neural pathways in your brain that help promote self-control, calmness, and inner peace. Every time you allow others to dictate your decisions or you don’t take full conscious responsibility for your decisions, you become slightly conditioned to be less conscious when making choices.

9. Always be open-minded - Being open-minded is a key aspect in the process of becoming a more conscious individual. When you haven’t accepted the diversity that our planet has to offer: ranging from different cultures, religions, wildlife, and beliefs, you will stay in your same state of consciousness or drop to a lower state. Being open-minded doesn’t only need to be for beliefs either. It can be having an open-mind to try something new such as: a new exercise routine, spiritual practice, or trying a new food.

10. Pursue higher intelligence - There are many ways to become more intelligent. Not everyone is intelligent in every area of their life. Some people are more emotionally intelligent, some have a higher I.Q., while some are more spiritually intelligent. All forms of intelligence increases and enhancements will help you on your journey towards expanding your awareness and becoming a more conscious human being.

11. Treat yourself with respect - Having respect for yourself and your actions will ultimately boost the amount of love that you express towards yourself and others. Make wise, respectful decisions that reflect your values and have strong respect for your personal beliefs. Treating others with respect will help you become a more conscious human being too, but before you can respect others properly, you must first learn to show the utmost respect towards yourself.

12. Practice forgiveness - Forgiving yourself can be very difficult sometimes: especially if you are operating in a lower state of consciousness. Realize that in order to rise up, advance, and become a more conscious person, you must be compassionate and forgiving towards yourself. Any hateful thoughts or pent up negative emotions that you may be holding towards yourself need to be released. Negative thoughts and emotions can easily lower our level of consciousness if we do not practice compassion and forgiveness.

13. Cultivate a “high-performance mind” - Cultivating a high-performance mind is a very fun, invigorating process that involves consciously accessing the brainwave state that you consciously choose, whenever you feel it is appropriate for a certain situation. Since their is no single best brainwave state to live life in, it helps to train our mind to consciously be able to “switch” states upon command. For those who want to understand more about developing a high-performance mind, I recommend that you go check out the book The High Performance Mind by Anna Wise.

14. Connect through prayer - The act of simply closing your eyes, folding your hands and saying a prayer will raise your level of consciousness. There are many different ways to practice prayer and there are many different practices, that when combined with prayer, enhance the power of your conscious message. Overall, prayer is a great experience that has potential to aid in your conscious awareness.

15. Challenge your belief system - This one can be difficult for many individuals due to the influence of imprinted beliefs by their parents or guardians during childhood. Some examples of beliefs that you could change include: dietary (changing to a vegetarian), spiritual (from Christianity to Atheism - or vice versa), emotional (from sadness to happiness), etc. By changing your belief system and experimenting with new beliefs, you make yourself more conscious of life’s endless possibilities.

16. Befriend like-minded individuals - On your journey towards becoming a more conscious individual, befriending like-minded people can be extremely helpful. If you are going through many spiritual, emotional, and mental changes without the company of others, the process can be much more difficult and confusing than when you have a guide, guru, or some friends that are traveling at a similar pace to you. Not only is being around like-minded individuals healthy, and optimal for your consciousness, it will ultimately give you more joy in life!

17. Pursue a path of spirituality - Pursuing a path of spirituality and becoming more spiritual will aid you considerably in the process of becoming a more conscious human being. Never be afraid to add a new spiritual practice to your arsenal - you never know what may be most effective or a life changing experience.

18. Express gratitude - Expressing gratitude on a daily basis is a very positive, fulfilling exercise to practice. Ways to express gratitude on a daily basis include: giving thanks for your food, expressing gratitude for yourself and others through prayer (as discussed earlier), complimenting others, and letting another person know that you are thankful for having them in your life. By sharing and expressing gratitude, you feel extremely satisfied and will become more consciously aware of the things that you truly appreciate in life.

19. Make yourself happy - What sort of things make you happy? The answer is usually different for everyone. You can do yourself a favor right now by making a long list of everything that makes you happy in life and acting on your listed items. Feeling and experiencing happiness in your life also will give you the powerful drive that it takes to make yourself more conscious.

20. Act on your desires - Simply having any form of desire will raise your consciousness. Desire encourages us to take action to advance consciously. The state of apathy, or not caring about your consciousness, will naturally lower your consciousness. Desire is a powerful way to raise your consciousness.

21. Boost your brain power and functioning - There are many helpful exercises that you can do to boost your brain power and overall level of functioning. One of my most popular articles, 50 Ways To Boost Your Brain Power, should get you on the right track if you are currently confused about the topic. Raising your level of consciousness will naturally boost your overall brain power, and boosting your brain power will raise your level of consciousness; both affect each other in equal proportion.

22. Take full control of your lifestyle - Are you living the lifestyle that you feel is most beneficial for your mental and physical wellbeing? Maybe there are certain bad habits that you need to get rid of or certain good habits that you’d like to implement in your daily routine. Don’t be afraid to act now and make necessary positive changes in your lifestyle to help you take full conscious control.

23. Choose empowering beliefs - In the process of changing beliefs, choose beliefs that are empowering to your soul. A good way to know what belief will be empowering is to simply ask yourself how you feel about adding the new belief. If you feel a strong connection with a new belief, such as feelings of excitement, it will probably be a very good choice of a belief to implement. Make a conscious effort to purge all beliefs that are less than satisfying. Understand also that as you become a more conscious human being, changing your beliefs will become a much easier, more natural process.

24. Avoid physical fighting and abuse - Physical fighting stems from emotional misunderstandings, hatred, and negative emotional expressions. Fighting can be described as the opposite of peace. Physical fighting and other forms of abuse can really do a great job at distracting us from becoming more conscious human beings. Anything that you can do to stop physical fighting and abuse will ultimately make you and the individuals involved more consciously aware.

25. Be aware and accepting of your emotions - No matter your current emotions, you will profoundly help yourself if you are accepting of them. Going through life resisting your emotions and trapping them inside yourself makes life much more difficult. Trying to escape from our emotions lowers our awareness. When you accept what you feel and consciously understand why you feel a certain emotion, your level of consciousness rises.

26. Speak compassionately - When having conversation with others, do you choose your words wisely? Or are you the type of person who could care less what you say? The truth is, people who choose their words wisely and consciously think during conversation are the ones who show greater respect for themselves and more compassion for others. Make a conscious effort to speak compassionately and positive results will follow.

27. Think positive, act positive, be positive - Being a positive influence sets a good example for others and for yourself. Positivity and states of being positive are direct effects of raising your consciousness. I highly recommend trying to be a more positive person in all areas of life; you will notice and feel the beneficial changes in your awareness.

28. Have sex with your partner - Having sexual intercourse is a great way to spread and share your love with another person. The best way to have sexual intercourse is with another positive, healthy, person in which you fully love and trust. Having sexual intercourse is a loving way of transferring and sharing energy with another person. No matter who you have sexual intercourse with, there can be significant conscious benefits.

29. Identify with your soul - Realize that at your core, you are a spiritual being who is living in a physical body. In lower stages of consciousness, this concept may seem unrealistic and may be very difficult to grasp. As you become better at identifying with your soul, you become better at working your way up the mountain of consciousness.

30. See perceived faults as a “mirror image” - When you look at the faults of others and identify faults in other people, use them as a teaching tool for yourself. The people that are in your life weren’t put there by mistake, they were put there to teach you something about yourself. By being able to take personal responsibility for what is being displayed by others into your conscious focus, you can take the information and make very positive changes.

31. Expand your horizons - Trying something new can pertain to any area of your life. Maybe you want to try to add a new healthy habit to your daily routine, shop at an organic store, or even host a block party for the first time. Having courage raises your consciousness and by constantly trying new things, you boost your cognitive ability to adapt and push through any lower states of fear.

32. Face your deepest fears - Are there any fears that you’re holding inside that are prevent you from making conscious advancement? At certain stages along the ladder of consciousness, it can be extremely difficult to face your fears. With that said, facing your fears will equip your consciousness with more empowerment and energy. Healthy fears include: giving a speech, singing in front of others, or throwing a party; this would be a great list of fears to go out and conquer! The choice to face these will help you considerably in your ability to make conscious advances.

33. Use powerful incantations - Incantations are simply words or phrases repeated over and over with emotional intensity for personal or spiritual benefit. They have commonly been used in religious practices to praise certain Gods or deities, but they have also be used for personal development and in the process of becoming more conscious. No matter what way you choose to use incantations, they can be very helpful and a powerful catalyst for helping you become more conscious.

34. Practice positive affirmations - Affirmations are a bit different than using incantations, though the concepts are very similar. Affirmations are used to change beliefs and thinking patterns. Examples of positive affirmations include: “I am healthy,” “I am positive,” and “I am intelligent.” The primary goal of using affirmations should be to replace unhealthy beliefs and thought patterns with healthier ones; making it easier to scale the mountain of consciousness.

35. Be aware of your state of consciousness - Unfortunately, many people aren’t aware of their current state of consciousness or what even defines consciousness. You may not even be consciously aware of the many diverse possible states of consciousness due to the fact that you may have only experienced one primary state of functioning throughout your lifetime. If you are a person who hasn’t experienced other states or most importantly cannot seem to understand your own state, you are definitely missing out some important aspects and understandings of conscious perception.

36. Set a positive example for others - Setting a positive example for others can pertain to any area of life and is highly encouraged. Setting a healthy, positive example for others to follow spreads a direct positive image into the lives and minds of others. Trying to consciously set a good example for others, will further raise your consciousness. Setting a bad example, or unconscious example, will slow, halt, or reverse your current conscious development.

37. Guide others interested in raising their consciousness - There are many ways to aid others in the process of raising their awareness, especially if you are a more consciously advanced individual. Chances are good that you’ll need to do some personal work with raising your own consciousness before you can put yourself in an effective position to help others raise their consciousness. What you may want to do, though, is encourage others to practice some items in this article or others on 4 Mind 4 Life dot com.

38. Share your unique insight and wisdom - Everyone has a different perspective based on their personal experience, purpose, and personality. Therefore, each individual has a unique form of insight that they can share with others. There are endless ways and opportunities for you to express and share your knowledge with others. All that you need to do is take action towards finding a medium most effective for allowing you to share your insight.

39. Gain wisdom from others - No single person holds all the wisdom of the universe in their brain. For this reason, it is important to study the wisdom of others and try to apply their wisdom to your life. As mentioned earlier, everyone has a unique perspective and knowledge-base to bring to the table. Studying the wisdom of others can be done in many ways. Examples include: meeting face-to-face with a more consciously advanced individual and ask them for life advice, reading positivity and personal development websites from several different sources, or maybe attending different personal development seminars.

40. Keep your ego in check - The more aware you are of your ego, the easier it is to become more conscious. With that said, as your awareness increases, so does your state of consciousness. The reverse also applies: as your consciousness increases, so does your awareness. Letting our ego get out of control and take the driver’s seat in our consciousness has potential to quickly lower our state of functioning. Taking full control and responsibility to keep your ego in check when faced with adversity will allow you to consciously advance in a much healthier manner.

41. Practice personal development - Taking action to better your life through the concept of personal development is an extremely effective way to make yourself a more conscious human being. Think of personal development as the act of upgrading every area of your life to function at the highest possible level: health, finances, relationships, etc. Virtually all aspects of personal development lead to greater conscious development in one way or another.

42. Shift your conscious focus - Being preoccupied with thoughts of past events and of the future has potential to lead your consciousness in the wrong direction. Focusing your attention on this exact moment (commonly referred to as “the now”), however, is a great way to raise your level of awareness. By learning techniques that allow you to shift your awareness to this exact moment, you can work wonders in the process of conscious advancement.

43. Be energetic - Being energetic can be very powerful for advancing your state of consciousness and for inspiring others to become more consciously advanced. Your body can become energized and your brain can become energized. When both are operating in at maximum intensity and energy, you are said to be in a state of peak conscious performance.

44. Make healthy dietary changes - Making healthy dietary changes means searching to find the best possible diet to fit your mental needs, physical needs, spiritual needs; to fit your needs. Are you fully conscious of what you are consuming? In order to boost your own level of consciousness, it is important to be fully aware of the food in which you are consuming in your diet and to be respectful and accepting of the diets of other individuals without making negative judgments.

45. Accept others for who they are - As mentioned above in being conscious of what you eat, it is important to be accepting of the diets that others choose to use. Whether they make a conscious decision to have an unhealthy diet or unconscious decision, accept their actions. Accepting others can apply to every area of life. No matter if you disagree with another person’s actions, disagree with their personality, or disagree with their perception of life, it is important to accept them for who they are and not try to force changes upon them. Settle your disagreements with other individuals by purely accepting them for who they are.

46. Accept and love yourself for who are - Life’s journey becomes much easier and significantly enriched if you can learn to accept yourself for who you are. Depending on your current state of consciousness, it may be difficult to love and accept who you are. Take the time to count your blessings, be accepting of yourself and your level of consciousness. Realize that at this current moment you are doing the best that you know how to do in order to advance consciously.

47. Understand your own thought process - An extremely effective way to become more conscious is to take note of your thought process and understand it to the best of your ability. I’ve seen many people run themselves in mental circles due to an ineffective understanding of their own thought process. Being consciously aware of your thoughts and why you are thinking them is a key step towards creating an accurate understanding of your reality.

48. Bless everything that happens - There are times throughout life when amazing things happen to us and other times when upsetting events take place. Just like accepting who you are is a great habit to get into, you should also learn to bless everything that happens in your life. No matter how bad an event, it has potential to make a positive impact on your life in the long run. Your ability to bless and appreciate, even what may be initially perceived as a worst case scenario, will ultimately provide you great conscious satisfaction.

49. Take time for internal reflection - In my opinion, taking time for internal reflection is the single most effective way to learn more about yourself and your current state of consciousness. Internal reflection will certainly help you better understand your thoughts, emotions, spirituality, and provide clarity in your current life situation. If you don’t currently take time to internally reflect, you could very well start up a 20 minute meditation routine each morning and observe the difference it quickly makes in your state of consciousness.

50. Focus on advancing consciously - In the process of conscious development, it’s important to focus exactly on what you are trying to accomplish: the act of becoming more conscious. During this process, it is important to tune out all unhealthy distractions such as: negative relationships, abuse, fighting, illicit drugs, etc. If you allow yourself to become distracted with unhealthy, unconscious habits, then act of advancing consciously will become a much more difficult or slower process than normal.

51. Be aware of your breathing - Being aware of your breathing means being fully conscious of your breathing pattern. Being aware of how you are breathing is important. Unfortunately, many people are unaware that there is actually a proper way to breathe. A way of breathing that is optimal for your body and brain. Proper breathing involves inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth upon every breath. The process of becoming more aware of my breathing through exercises like meditation and conscious breathing have significantly helped me increase my overall level of focus, emotional stability, and level of consciousness.

52. Spend more time with yourself - In the fast-paced lifestyle of the 21st century, it is very common for people to spend time with others, yet never take personal time to spend with themselves and focus on their own life. If you are an individual who is currently not taking enough time for yourself each day, try starting up a personal routine. Examples of ways that you could spend time with yourself, contributing positively to your own life include: taking time for internal reflection (meditation), letting yourself know how much you love yourself, going on a walk to listen to your own thoughts, giving gratitude for everything that you have in your life, or getting involved in a hobby that inspires you.

53. Listen more often than you speak - In this day in age, it seems as though there is always someone that wants to be the center of attention; conversations easily become viewed as egoistic competitions. While being the center of attention can feel great and can be a rewarding experience, it can become consciously dangerous to your consciousness if it is motivated by your ego. By practicing the act of listening more often than you speak, you can train yourself to be more consciously aware of others, while still holding the conscious ability to politely contribute to a conversation.

54. Muster up some courage - Being highly conscious means doing what you want to do, saying what you want to say, and living how you want to live at every moment. Somewhere along the path towards developing a highly conscious mindset, you will need to be courageous. Developing a sense of courage is an integral step, possibly a phase that may last several years, on your journey to become more conscious.

55. Always act with compassion - Having complete compassion for others is a direct result of becoming more conscious. Unfortunately, there are few people here on Earth that are honestly able to make the claim that they always act with complete compassion for others. Compassion meditation also allows you to learn how to shift your mental focus from any state into a perspective of pure love for others. As you may have already guessed, practicing compassion can be one of the single most powerful exercises for boosting your level of consciousness.

56. Improve your mental focus - Improving our mental focus helps us get a better understanding of reality and provides us with more inner clarity. As we enhance our level of focus and clarity, concepts that had previously seemed very difficult to understand become general knowledge. We get a better sense of understanding within ourselves and of the world around us. As your level of focus increases, so will your level of consciousness.

57. Think rationally and logically - Being able to think rationally and logically allows you to positively interact with your reality much easier than being irrational and illogical. In fact, being irrational and illogical will actually lower your current level of awareness. Rational thinking is a byproduct of a high functioning brain, particularly the high activity within your left-prefrontal cortex. One great way to increase your ability to rationalize is to strengthen your brain’s level of functioning by boosting your brain power.

58. Purify your body - One great way to become more conscious is to purify your body. You can help purify your body by going on a specific diet, by cutting certain substances from your diet, by decreasing stress and learning to deeply relax, by cutting certain substances from your diet, by sitting in a sauna to sweat out toxins, etc. While following a detox routine, be conscious of what you are doing to your body. Be fully aware that you should choose a detox routine that has been researched and proven effective in order to avoid risking bodily damage in the process. With that said, choosing to purify or cleanse your body can really work magic for your current level of consciousness.

59. Start a personal journal - Starting a personal journal or blog is a great time investment that will allow yourself to become more conscious of your: thoughts, feelings, actions, philosophies, beliefs, etc. Writing entries in a daily journal or on a personal blog can be extremely helpful in the process of understanding your current state of awareness. What is nice about keeping tabs on yourself is the fact that you can watch your progress as you undertake a conscious journey. No matter your strategy for keeping a journal, understand that keeping tabs on yourself and events in your life serves as a great way to develop a deeper sense of understanding, knowledge, and conscious awareness.

60. Make others laugh - Being funny and making others laugh is a great way to ease stress and create a more positive outlook in life for yourself and for others. Though you may not be an expert comedian, being able to make others laugh is extremely rewarding and satisfying. Making others laugh and smile shifts all attention away from pain and negative emotions, towards one of pure enjoyment and happiness. Jokes and the ability to laugh can really change your entire perspective from what may seem like a grim, serious situation, to a happier, more positive outlook.

61. Practice a religion - Practicing a religion is a phenomenal way to become a more conscious person. As you raise your current level of awareness, you will discover that there is really no best religion or Utopian religion to practice. What matters most in conscious advancement is getting a feel for what practices actually make you become more consciously aware. You need to personally determine what works best for you. One of the best ways to do this is via experimenting with many different religions.

62. Respect the beliefs of others - At no time is it loving or respectful to criticize the beliefs of others. No matter how consciously advanced another person is or isn’t, it is important to respect their thoughts and actions. When you try to force others to adopt your lifestyle, beliefs, and force them to become a more conscious human-being, you are indirectly expressing negative emotion towards that individual; you are getting your ego heavily involved. Forcing others to consciously change is not truly accepting them for who they are. If you feel like you should force others to raise their awareness, perhaps you need to raise your awareness some more! It is important to realize that everyone will have their time to advance consciously and will eventually reach the “top of the mountain” on their journey to their higher consciousness.

63. Ask questions about your life - Attempting to learn more about life each day is a great way to increase your overall knowledge base and a great way to become a more conscious person. Nobody “knows-it-all” in life, that’s why asking questions about life and about certain situations in life, will really help you out on your journey. The idea here is to learn as much about life as possible. This will allow you to make your lifestyle more conscious, your choices more conscious, your actions more conscious, and yourself a more knowledgeable person. If you don’t feel like asking others questions, a great way to learn more about life is to ask yourself internal questions. Often times we don’t realize that within ourselves, we hold the answer to every question about our life. Meditation is highly recommended as an exercise for learning more about our inner-self.

64. Understand that everything changes - Whether you realize it or not, everything and everyone is in a constant state of change. Change is undeniable and is happening to yourself and others as you are reading this. There is no way to prevent change, but there is a way to consciously control your change. Be the change that you want to see on this Earth and please: make it a positive, conscious one!

65. Realize that you are not alone - On your journey towards becoming a more conscious human being, it is important to realize that you are never alone in the process. Someone, somewhere is going through the same process and many have already gone through the process. There are likely many individuals that are more consciously advanced than you are: which is a good thing. Look to these individuals for guidance along the way. We can always look to more conscious individuals for personal guidance and advice in life.

66. Push your personal limits - Pushing your personal limits to become the best person that you can be is something that everyone should strive for. Pushing your personal limits is something that you can do in every area of your life: relationships, exercise, consciousness, spirituality, finances, etc. Pushing your personal limits in the areas that you feel most soulfully-connected with are the areas that you should probably put the most work into in order to feel the greatest sense of fulfillment.

67. Invest in yourself - When you make money, do you invest it in stocks? Have you ever thought of investing it in yourself - your purpose, vision, values, and goals? Besides money, we can also invest time in ourselves. In my opinion, investing time in yourself is one of the most effective ways to become more conscious. Investing time in yourself will allow you to discover your true purpose and become a more conscious human being.

68. Be open to exploring consciousness - There are many ways to be open to exploring your consciousness. Several methods to explore your consciousness include: brainwave entrainment, meditation, raising your consciousness, trying new activities, exploring spirituality, exploring different social groups, changing your environment (by traveling), trying neurofeedback, etc. If you don’t know of any healthy ways to expand your consciousness, start with the ones that I’ve listed. No need to unnecessarily kill your brain cells and lower your consciousness by using illicit drugs to “expand your mind…”

69. Develop a deep relationship - Developing deep, trustworthy relationships with other people are not only great for helping you to become more conscious, they are a great way to share love and joy with others. If you haven’t already done so, develop a deep, personal relationship with at least one individual. It could be a good friend, spouse, boyfriend / girlfriend, it could be a good therapist, it could be anyone that you feel is on-the-same-page as you in life, or at the same level of consciousness. Having another person to discuss your personal inner-thoughts with and share your turmoil, joy, and all other emotions with, will actually make you a happier, more conscious person.

70. Call upon your spirit guides - Everyone has spirit guides - whether they believe in them and want to communicate with them or not. Before we are born, we are assigned spirit guides to do just what their name implies: guide our spirit. They can often provide us with valuable advice and some forms of intuitive connection that most of us never imagined was possible. The best way to connect with them is to learn proper meditation. The job of spirit guides are to help guide your spirit in the right direction and they really want to connect with you to help you raise your consciousness. So consider learning ways to connect with them on a personal level, or finding an advanced spiritual seeker / psychic that knows about spirit guides and how to connect with them. It seems as though Erin Pavlina has gotten great reviews discussing her ability to help you connect with your guides. Though her readings are somewhat expensive, getting one could prove to be a great investment in order to accelerate your personal growth and conscious development.

71. Clear emotional blocks - Nearly everyone has some form of subconscious emotional blocks that they have suppressed within their subconscious. Emotional blocks can develop in childhood and can be forgotten by the time a person reaches adulthood. They can drain your conscious control over life if you don’t learn to properly release them. It is not advised to attempt to deal with very powerful emotional blocks or repressed traumatic memories by yourself. Consult a trained therapist or psychologist to help you work through your past powerful emotion. Realize that when you are able to work through your past emotional blocks, you naturally allow yourself to reach a higher state of consciousness.

72. Clear out subconscious “cobwebs” - What exactly are subconscious “cobwebs?” I refer to subconscious cobwebs as any unfulfilling: beliefs and emotions that have been carried around in your subconscious mind for too long. Many times, our subconscious mind is carrying around extra negative emotional baggage and limiting beliefs that need to be released or replaced. If you want to clear out your subconscious “cobwebs” and take conscious control of your subconscious mind, consider trying meditation. Meditation takes your consciousness to a deeper level and makes reprogramming your mind a much easier process.

73. Turn off the T.V. - Depending on your current level of consciousness, watching T.V. may actually be a good thing. For those individuals operating at an extremely low level of functioning, watching T.V. gives them hope, satisfaction, and a boost in consciousness. With that said, to permanently elevate your consciousness, it is recommended to refrain from watching T.V. If you think about the act of watching T.V., it doesn’t reflect your life’s purpose nor allow you to be fully productive. The time that you currently spend watching T.V. could be put to better use by allowing you to accomplish a personal goal, providing you with extra time for exercise, or even giving you time to boost your brain power!

74. Read a good book - Whether you enjoy reading fiction or non-fiction books (or both), reading books is a phenomenal way to help you boost your conscious brain power. Reading books provides you with knowledge, creativity, and allows you to fully expand your intellect. Reading books will also help you become a smarter person, with a mind that is full of new thoughts and ideas. The more credible information that you are able to read, the more information and knowledge your consciousness has to consciously create with.

75. Expand your creativity - There are many ways for us to expand our creativity and abilities to creatively think. Developing ways to creatively think not only boosts brain power, it boosts your consciousness. The use of brainstorming, creative visualization, Zen koans, and meditation have all been known to increase creative thinking skills. Creativity is an important trait to develop when dealing with your reality. Having creativity allows your mind to easily solve even the most difficult of problems. If your creative-side is currently lacking, think of ways to step-it-up a notch to reap the conscious benefits!

76. Develop strong people-skills - Developing strong people-skills will allow you to become more conscious in many different ways. Having strong people skills allows you to be comfortable expressing who you really are in any social situation. Without developing strong people skills, you may be stuck in a state of fear around others in social settings or even worse, you may feel completely uncomfortable expressing your true beliefs, values, and discussing your lifestyle in front of others. Cultivating a strong set of people-skills will allow you to become a more conscious individual and will allow you to share your love with others.

77. Allow yourself to be inspired - Allowing yourself to be inspired helps you to take passionate action. In order for us to be inspired, we usually need to have some sort of emotional connection. Maybe you are deeply inspired by a song that you recently heard on the radio, maybe you are inspired by Barack Obama, maybe you are inspired by Hilary Clinton, maybe you find Pablo Picasso’s artwork inspiring. Everyone is different and everyone is uniquely inspired by different things here on Earth. Inspiration can really work magic in your life if you let it. Taking actions based off of positive inspiration will ultimately guide your consciousness to a higher level of functioning.

78. Be courteous towards others - Being courteous to others is a great way to share love, positivity, and a great way to set a good example for others. Each time that you set an example, you have some influence onto others. Each time that you practice a healthy habit or put courteous actions on display for others to see, they will be much more inclined to follow suit. When you are able to be courteous to everyone that you meet, you are raising your consciousness through compassion.

79. Attend a spiritual retreat - There are many spiritual retreats and spiritual opportunities that can quickly boost your state of consciousness. Meditation retreats and gatherings with your religious group are two of many ways to raise your consciousness. The act of going to church is yet another form of attending a spiritual gathering. Going to an event like a Holosync retreat may also be a great way to connect with a fun, positive group of individuals that could prove to be lifelong friends. You will never truly know nor understand the possibilities of conscious transformation that a retreat has to offer until you actually make it a point to attend.

80. Form a mastermind group - Forming a mastermind group is a great way to help you become more conscious and complete your goals. To participate in a mastermind group, you must first gather up some trustworthy friends. Next, schedule times that your entire group will meet to discuss personal challenges, goals, accomplishments, etc. Meet with each other and discuss your goals. Be as positive and encouraging towards one another as possible. Offer suggestions and serve as a motivation for the rest of your group. Mastermind groups are a form of conscious, positive support that allows you to accomplish your goals much easier. And, social support (i.e. a positive group of friends) is always great to have when working to become more conscious. Do whatever you want with your group, have fun, be positive, and realize that you are raising your consciousness in the process!

81. Be a mediator - There are many situations that arise from negativity in this world. One way to break up these situations in a peaceful manner is to be a mediator. A mediator is a person that is able to resolve conflict between two parties and think of a peaceful solution to a problem that both conflicting parties agree upon. In the end, the best part about a mediation process is the satisfaction that you can derive from helping bring peace to the world. Helping others is a great way to create a true sense of happiness in your life. Anytime that you bring peace, the collective consciousness of humanity takes a step in a positive direction.

82. Build an accurate model of reality - Building an accurate model of reality is a great way to explore the endless possibilities that life has to offer. Gaining conscious control of your thoughts will aid you in the process of creating your reality. When you are able to take control of your focus, building an accurate model of reality becomes an easier task.

83. Be a leader - Being a positive leader is an awesome way to raise your level of consciousness and that of others. If you are able to become a leader who is able to influence large groups of people in a positive manner, you will naturally develop a lot of conscious power. Each person that supports your message, adds to your ability to share your purpose. If you haven’t thought about stepping up and becoming a leader in some way, now is the best time to start thinking about it!

84. Travel the world - Traveling the world most definitely has potential to change and expand your state of awareness. As you travel to different places, you are able to learn about unique: ways of life, ways of thinking, religions, customs, values, etc. This is why it is extremely common for huge changes in perception to occur. Traveling to many different parts of the world is one way of exploration that allows you to experience life on a larger scale.

85. Be empathetic - Advanced empathetic abilities can be cultivated by accessing the lower brainwave states: both the theta and delta brainwaves. Making a conscious effort to become a more empathetic person means trying to understand and relate to others and their emotions in as an effective method as possible. Being empathetic is a great way to spread love and compassion in the world. And spreading love and compassion are great ways to help you become a more conscious person!

86. Set goals and accomplish them - Setting positive goals and working to accomplish them is one of the single most effective ways to advance consciously, without even having the intention to advance consciously. For example: you may set the goal to exercise everyday for one month in order to improve your health. By setting and completing a goal like this, your main focus is improving your health, however, you are also indirectly improving your consciousness.

87. Try brainwave entrainment - Though brainwave entrainment seems like a new-agey, experimental technique, it is a great tool for advancing consciously that actually works. Not only does brainwave entrainment work well, it is an extremely effective way to develop a powerful brain and advanced state of consciousness. By practicing brainwave entrainment, your brain becomes more flexible in the process of shifting to various brainwave states. You can always give brainwave entrainment a trial and evaluate how effective it is at helping you advance consciously! Check out the software featured in my recommended products section and give one of those a trial run.

88. Try self-hypnosis - What many people do not realize is that the act of self-hypnosis is very helpful for achieving states of complete, controlled relaxation. During self-hypnosis you develop full, complete control of the beliefs that are implanted in your subconscious mind. Self-hypnosis relaxes your body and takes you into a state of highly-focused, deep relaxation. No matter whether you enjoy self-hypnosis or meditation more, they are both exercises that will allow you to elevate your consciousness. Give self-hypnosis a shot if you haven’t already - it is a perfectly safe, exercise that will benefit your consciousness greatly!

89. Develop your chakras - Learning to clear and cleanse your chakras could prove to be one of the single best investments that you’ve ever made for yourself. Chakras hold the key allowing you to tap into your higher-self and connect with energy from the Universe. Working directly with your chakras will help you become a more conscious person, making you more aware of your body’s energy centers and how they can affect your entire life.

90. Release your Kundalini energy - My definition of Kundalini: a (usually latent) energy force that is coiled at the base of our spine. We’ve all felt Kundalini from time to time during extremely emotional moments, when a certain song plays, or when we have a powerful experience. What does Kundalini feel like? Kundalini the energy that makes our spine tingle. We get goosebumps throughout our body and our entire spine tingles with emotional energy. Kundalini is a completely healthy and powerful method to advance consciously. It is not recommended to go into a Kundalini experience blindly, though. Do some research on “Kundalini energy” and consider working with a guru or a person who has been through the entire process if you hope to release your Kundalini energy.

91. Appreciate your surroundings - To further allow yourself to develop consciously, it is important to be appreciative and thankful for everything in your environment. Each day and every day, the little things that we may be taking for granted are often some of the most amazing forms of beauty. Simple things like the sunset, a field of flowers, or the face of our neighbors are all beautiful expressions that we may not be taking the time to appreciate. When we are able to realize that everything is connected and that we were truly meant to love and appreciate one-another, we naturally become inherently grateful for our surroundings and what the Earth has to offer - and thus, more conscious.

92. Bring new life to Earth - Each time that you are able to make a contribution to life here on Earth, you bring forth another brilliant expression of our universe. Each time that you bring human life, plant life, animal life, etc. here on Earth, it is something to be truly proud of. Ways that you could contribute to bringing life to this planet include: raising children, adopting a child, planting a flower, or raising an animal. The inner feelings that you may feel as a result of bringing forth new life are perfect for finding true happiness and taking yourself to the next conscious level.

93. Lead a flexible life - Flexibility is a key part of gymnastics… it also is a key part of life and the process of becoming more conscious as a human being. Leading an overly-structured life often becomes overwhelming and unpleasurable. You need to take time to appreciate the moments of spontaneity and spur-of-the-moment type events. Being flexible is a great attribute to cultivate in your life. Though learning to be flexible is just a small habit that will make you more conscious (by opening up your life to new opportunities), it is a highly important principle to implement into your life and reality.

94. Learn from “consciously advanced” individuals - More consciously advanced people have a lot to offer those who are less consciously advanced. They often provide us with great discoveries, insights, and guide our lives in a positive direction. If you happen to know someone that is at a higher cognitive level of functioning than yourself, spend some time with that individual. Ask them questions about their life, questions about your life, or any questions about life in general. See how these individuals feel about raising consciousness and how they can help you work to increase your conscious awareness.

95. Live a well-balanced life - Keeping a balanced life can be very difficult at times. However, keeping activities in proper balance is a great way to become more aware and involved in many areas of life. Make a conscious effort to focus your energy towards what inspires you most, but don’t forget to be flexible and take time for important people and activities like: friends, family, expression, and exercise. Being well-balanced with activities in life provides us with greater conscious satisfaction.

96. Consider taking health supplements - Supplements have long been known to help aid in mental processing and boost physical functioning. I personally have taken a multivitamin in combination with 3.6 grams of fish oil on a daily basis for almost 2 years straight. Overall, I feel that the combination has worked phenomenal for helping my physical functioning and mental processing. Always be open minded: consider taking supplements if you aren’t already. Do a personal experiment to see what supplements work best for you and how various supplements affect your consciousness. In the end, you may decide that all supplements are ineffective and that they were nothing more than placebos.

97. Celebrate your accomplishments - Celebrating your accomplishments is a form of self-praise and self-respect. When you value yourself and appreciate yourself, you are likely to celebrate your accomplishments - and actually have accomplishments to celebrate! Celebrating is a fun and rewarding activity to do to make yourself happier. It increases your levels of overall self-love and respect: both of which are key factors in the process of raising your consciousness.

98. Always have positive intentions - Positive intentions often arise from having a positive mindset. Having a positive mindset and forming the habit of holding good intentions is a great way to boost your level of conscious awareness. When you intend for positive events to happen in your life and always have positive expectations - your life will naturally attract positive people and will result in happiness.

99. Read and recommend 4 Mind 4 Life dot com to others - Remind yourself of ways to become more conscious by re-reading this series and other articles here at 4 Mind 4 Life dot com. I always try to provide you with the most valuable advice to help you boost your level of consciousness. Though the main focus of this website is boosting brain power, your level of consciousness goes hand-in-hand with how powerful your brain is; the more powerful your brain, the easier time in raising your consciousness you will have. I can only promote my message to a certain extent. Each time that you help me by recommending my website or this series to another person, you will be helping guide others towards positive change. I send blessings to everyone who reads this series, recommends this series, recommends this website, or applies advice from this website to better themselves.

100. [This space is intentionally left blank for you to fill in] - Nobody knows and understands what works best to help your consciousness better than you! Be creative, fill in the last blank already! Choose an activity that you enjoy that renews your sense of wellbeing and resonates congruently with your soul. Blessings to everyone that made it this far down the list!