What to Do When a Woman Does This to You

When she stares at your mouth, smile...then kiss her.

When she pushes you or hit's you, hug her tight.

When she starts cursing at you, say I love you.

When she's quiet, hold her hand and ask what's wrong.

When she ignores you, act cute so she'll notice you.

When she pulls away, pull her back.

When you see her at her worst, tell her you love her and she still looks amazing.

When you see her walking, approach her...give a kiss on the cheek.

When she's scared, assure her you're not going to leave her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt your head too...and hold her hand.

When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it.

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

When she is sick, stay up all night with her.

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

When she wants to see her favorite movie or show, watch it with her even if you think it's stupid.

When she says she's okay, don't believe it…talk to her.

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does.

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up.

When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

When she's not saying anything, stay on the phone with her.

When you see her start crying, hold her...ask her what's wrong.

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you'd say is..."Who's ass am I gonna kick baby?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Let her wear your clothes.

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

Give her the world.

Selfless Love

My wife called, 'How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. 'Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear'.


Sindu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 'Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'


'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindu, dear, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested. After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her. 'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand.

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!'

'Never in our family!' My mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!'

'Sindu, darling, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'


'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.


'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?'


It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.'

'Are you out of your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.

'No. If we go back on ourpromises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.


On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please wait for me!' What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.


'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, 'that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from... leukemia'. She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!

Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'


I stood transfixed and then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!'

The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love !!

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN!

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'


3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'


4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'


5) POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'


6) POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the va n. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'


7) ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'



8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'


10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'


11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Why Fearing the Police Is Not Irrational

There was a day in America when we, the people, had great respect for the police. When they would ask you how you are doing, they sincerely wanted to know because they cared. That day has passed with barely a whisper or complaint. Today when a cop (they prefer to be called Police Officers, as they feel "cop" is somewhat derogatory) asks you how you are, they are not doing it because they care but rather to set you at ease so you feel that their follow-up questions are friendly and benign. Since for most of us, our likely contact with the police is during a traffic stop (this is actually an arrest. If you do not believe this, try and leave the scene of the top, or not stop in the first place), and the follow-up questions inevitably will be:

1. Where are you coming from (sic)?
2. Where are you going?
3. What are you doing?
4. Do you have anything illegal in your possession?

What they are not doing is being friendly, but rather they are fishing for information to give them probable cause to search you and your vehicle. There are so many laws today that almost everyone is guilty of something at all times. It is unreasonable to think every individual will know every law for which they may be held accountable. We think "I'm not hurting anyone so I'm not doing anything wrong." While this seems reasonable to most of us (no victim, no crime right?), the law and especially the cops do not see it this way.

Take this for example. You are heading home on a Saturday morning from your bank downtown, and get stopped by cops for some perceived infraction. You answer the questions above: "The bank downtown," "Home," "Nothing," "No." This seems perfectly reasonable and safe; you are just complying with the friendly police officer. What you do not know is that a different bank downtown was just robbed and you have given the cop probable cause to search you and your vehicle under suspicion that you are one of the robbers.

Maybe this example hits closer to home. You are heading to your diabetic parents' home for a visit and are also going to deliver a box of 100 insulin syringes. You think nothing of it and mention the syringes to the police officer; clearly, you are only being friendly and answering the questions honestly. Well congratulations, if you live in Illinois you just admitted to a crime. Possession or transportation of more than 20 syringes by anyone not a health professional is a Class A misdemeanor for the first offense and a Class 4 felony after that. Welcome to the slammer and the humiliation of processing.

Every single piece of information the cops need during a traffic stop is contained on your license, registration and proof of insurance. While there are a plethora of reasons why you should not even have to provide those (a huge topic all on its own), in my humble opinion the potential hassle of not complying far outweighs the benefits gained by attempting to circumvent these pieces of documentation. They have no reason to know neither where you have been nor where you are going. It is none of their business and has nothing to do with a traffic stop. So, do not tell them anything. Do not talk to them and do not even open your mouth. Remember they are not your friend. All they want is to find some reason to take you to the station and toss you in a cell, confiscate your vehicle (along with all the contents), put you in a situation that will cost you tens of thousands of dollars to get out of (if you are lucky) or a guilty plea-bargain to avoid jail time (congratulations on the felony record, no more guns for you and good luck finding a new job after you lost your current one during the 9 month legal battle). They will ruin your life if you give them the chance, just to advance their petty careers.

And the final question with which you will be faced: "Do you have anything illegal in your possession?" How are you even supposed to know? Can any of us be sure that at any particular moment we are not committing some innocuous "crime"? I certainly do not know all the 70,000 pages of triple column, small font text released in the Federal Register every year let alone all the Local, County and State ordinances currently on the books for which I can be held accountable. So by them asking that question they have just set you up for a second charge on top of any others they can think up. "Obstructing an Officer" will tack on an extra 6 months of jail time to your sentence. Of course, the cops can lie to you all they want with impunity.

Lastly comes the really scary part. How often have you heard of an on-duty cop who has done something horrible and then get prosecuted? The tasings, shootings, beatings and occasionally murders by the police go mostly unpunished. Sure, they might get two months of administrative leave (with pay) but nothing is really going to happen to them. They know this. They know that if you make them angry they could just pull you out of your car and beat you to the brink of death, and there is nothing anybody will do about it.

The police care about only one thing: Compliance. Do what they say, when they say without question or you will suffer. They will see to that. The men and women so many people depend on to serve and protect them have become thugs whom we fear. And this fear is not irrational.

50 Ways To Make Yourself Miserable

1. Compare yourself frequently with others.
2. Belittle yourself.
3. Don’t believe in dreams, you think dreams only happen when you are sleeping.
4. Say yes to everybody and everything.
5. Work in a job you hate.
6. Complain about everything.
7. Complain about everything to your friends.
8. Suspicious of everything.
9. Counting your troubles.
10. Harbor negative thoughts.
11. Trying to please everyone and let everyone walk all over you.
12. Constantly think about the past.
13. Constantly think about the future.
14. Focusing on what you lack.
15. Focusing on what you don’t want.
16. Need others to validate you constantly.
17. Think of everything that can possibly go wrong in your life.
    
18. Being jealous easily.
19. Always envy others and never grateful of what you have instead.
20. Imitating others due to lack of self confidence.
21. Lacking self esteem and cause others to dislike you.
22. Think the world revolves around you.
23. Constantly judging others.
24. Absorbing all the bad news daily in the papers.
25. Junk food is your best companion.
26. Exercise is your worst enemy.
27. Think that things can only go your way.
28. Do not accept others opinion.
29. Lack of sleep.
30. Lack of goals.
31. Worry consistently about the sky is falling.
32. Plan but never take action.
33. Fail to plan.
34. Feel that people around you are all jerks.
35. Thinking there is no purpose in living.
36. Being the “If Man”. If my father is the president, then I will be successful. If ____ then I will be _____. (fill in the blanks)
37. Lottery is the only way to success.
38. Try to control everything that you can’t control.
39. Expect to be appreciated.
40. Expect others to be grateful to you.
41. You will not forget about criticism.
42. Hate people around you to be successful.
43. Shirk responsibilities.
44. Receive and never give.
45. Do things that are easy.
46. Overwork.
47. Never forgive.
48. Never give your best effort in things you do.
49. Perfectionism.
50. Choosing to be miserable.